Oh The Joy!

2009 In Pictures.....

Thinking...thinking....thinking......
A year or so ago, I stumbled upon this amazing blog and loved it so much I kept going to it and reading it for quite awhile, but apparently, I didn't have my bookmarks figured out right or it was when I switched from Internet Explorer to Mozilla and then Google Chrome that I lost it but today I stumbled upon it again and was so blessed and reminded of so many things I have to be grateful for in my life. I am always writing about my family I know, I guess because really, when it all comes down to it, besides the Lord who is my everything, my family is THE most important thing in my universe.

This morning John and I woke up to remembering the garbage truck was coming this morning so as he rushed out the door to put the can to the "curb" I snuggled deeper in our flannel sheets and felt deeply grateful.  He came back in our room packing my lap top and plugged it in, I hopped up and went out and made a fresh pot of coffee, grabbing the box of goodies Nikki had made for us (OMG YU-U-U-U MY) and we proceeded to drink coffee and eat these little mini muffins stuffed with yummy goodness (chocolate chips!) and do our puzzle we had started yesterday.  A bunch of years ago I found this game online that I just loved called Mystery Case Files, Prime Suspects.  I love puzzles, something that requires more than just me hopping and jumping around but takes me thinking about where something is or how it works or whatever....These Mystery Case File games accomplish that.  I have bought every one of them and John and I do them together. The first ones I no longer have since they were downloaded onto an old computer we no longer have but I have the three latest ones on my system.  It takes them several years to develop as they are pretty intricate and kind of a mix of finding hidden things to fill out a list and puzzles that you have to figure out in order to advanced or earn something.  John and I have a great time doing them together, often laughing or even bickering in the middle of the game!  It was a wonderful morning really, I opened the blinds in our room and we sat sipping our coffee, munching on yummy christmas food and just enjoyed the morning in laziness.

I was blow drying my hair later when a song popped into my head that I had learned a long time ago, when our kids were young.  One of our favorite movies is called "Rigoletto" (by us I mean John, me and Kales) and its about the transforming power of love written for children...awesome! Rigoletto teaches a young girl to sing so that, by the sheer power of her love, not only for him and her acceptance of him through allowing him to teach her (he's very disfigured) his ugliness is overcome and he is transformed.  The song he teaches her  is the one that came to mind for me this morning and just so happens that Kaylee and I sang it once in the "Talent Show" that we used to have in our church.  Here are the words:

Music boxes have within
Melodies they carry with them
Once they're opened music fills the air
Every person you have known
Has a song, all their own
Open up your heart you'll hear whats there
Its not easy you must listen
With your heart for what lies hidden

There was a melody locked deep inside of me
But now its free
It found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony
Love more than anything
Teaches our hearts to sing
Only love, can break the shell
Now I know, very well....
The love within myself.....

As I stood in our kitchen, making another fresh pot of coffee for the boys when they get up, I texted the first part of that song to Kaylee...her response?  She sent me the last part of it! I began to cry! And cry...and cry.....it brings tears to my eyes again even writing it! So much of our lives, my life, is spent bustling around trying to "get things done" going from thing to thing and when I stop, breathe deeply, sucking in some fresh air, I remember the small teeny things that make up the fabric of my life...like singing a duet with my, then, young daughter (something in the neighborhood of 7 or 8 years old I think) and hearing her precious voice beside me, sharing a microphone, me sitting in a chair so that I was as tall as she was...a sweet memory that I will carry with me forever. My beautiful, incredibly wise, really funny, silly, crazy, amazing, brilliant, daughter. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry, she listens to me whine and she sometimes MAKES me crazy! I ADORE her and I value her so very much....

Last night Aaron and Ryan got out the Guitar Hero and proceeded to be obnoxiously loud and pretty darn funny.  They pulled out the drum set and handed me the microphone and told John and I we were playing and, I wish I could describe the next few hours of hilarious fun, laughter so good and so awesome we ALL were crying by the time we were done and just plain good fun.   I can't really tell you the story well enough for you to see the humor in it but the laughter was at my expense and at my, in Aarons words, "techie ignorance" and I honestly was glad I didn't have any mascara on!  I needed to do something with my Wii controller and change a setting and kept yelling "how do I DO THIS????" and Ryan and Aaron would say, "THE PLUS SIGN MOM"  so I would push the plus sign and push the plus sign and nothing would happen and I would shout again and they would shout again...finally one of them looked at me and said, "Mom, NOT the one SHAPED like a plus the one with a plus ON it!"  "Well...darn it, it would help if I could SEE it! I thought I WAS pushing the plus sign! you didn't TELL me!"  and they both began laughing with peals and peals of laughter at my total ignorance and innocence.  Oh man, what fun we had.  Another small thing I am so grateful for, these young men who make my life such a great time, a challenge, and sometimes a pain in the neck and mostly, just a major wonderful huge piece of my life...

So, I woke up this morning, next to my sweetie and thought, okay...today is gonna be a GOOD day! My heart yearns to have our oldest son home with us along with his Lindsay and be able to hear him laugh and talk and BE, to be with all of our kids and have a chance to take time to thank each other for all the love, the fun, the blessings and wonder of just HAVING each other.  I woke up this morning and thought to myself, I LOVE my life...I LOVE this man beside me, the man who will continues to amaze me, surprise me, hold me close when I cry, lean back and look at me laughing because of something I just said (usually just so I can hear him laugh)and keep me guessing almost every single day of my life (in a good way).  This man who just now opened the present I gave him for Christmas, a pair of motorcycle/cowboy boots. Boots that, in my most humble opinion, not one single man on this earth could ever fill. A man who is a hero to me, the one I respect above all others and the one whom I know will always hold the standard for our sons to measure up to.

I have SOOOO SOOOOO much to be grateful for, so much to thank the Lord for and so much that I just plain do not even know how to express.  My life is full...full to the brim and running over with people whom I love, people who love me and people whom I KNOW that all I would have to do is call and they would come running to help, HAVE come running to help.

So, I sit on our couch on this Christmas eve 2009, the smell of our Noble Fir emanating throughout the room (unfortunately it will have to go outside tomorrow or risk burning our house down), and listen to the sounds of  talking, laughing and enjoyment of each other echoing in the house.  I think of our good friends and family, my sisters and their kids, my mom and dad, my best friends, one on one coast and one a few hundred miles away, my sweet little granddaughter and our little one that is on the way next year. I think of all the fun times, the great memories, the tears, the hard times, the times when I wonder how I will survive and the times when I KNOW I will, and I think, Oh Lord, thank You, Thank You so very much...I am so humbled by this life You have given me, this life I have been living is one that, even though it can be hard, is so incredible and so FULL. You, Lord, are the One who makes it all happen and You Lord, are where it all begins.  Thank You!

Have yourself a Merry Christmas!