A Daily Letting Go

Sometimes life has so many twists and turns I just can't keep up and I have so appreciated our Pastor Arte's sermons the last two Sundays. I love taking notes and these were two sermons that were so EASY to take notes in!  I knew when I wrote the things down that were the points he made and the things I picked out of what he said that I would be using those notes throughout the year.

I have said before that I don't make New Years Resolutions.  I used to, trust me, I used to.  But, I finally, after so many years of trying new resolutions and failing them and feeling bad, I just decided to go ahead and look at the new year as a blank canvas with goals on it.  I have no deadlines, no timelines and no real set thing but I do have some places I want to get to, things I want to see in me.  The 10 things that Arte preached about were things to think on spiritually, which, to me, is much more important that making sure I attempt to get something printed in a Scrapbook Trends magazine (one of my carry over goals from last year) and more important that making more money or whatever.  If I don't spiritually grow this year, whats the point?  Here are the 10 points Arte brought out from the Word, Matthew 6 and 7 to be exact (add in there Colossians 3:17 and Philippians 2)

The Lord has called this to be a Year of Preparation, A Year of Release, A Year to Pursue God with All that I am, a Year of Honesty, A Year of Discernment:

He's called me to:   (chapter 6)

1. a place of giving more (vs.4)
2. pray more (vs. 8)
3. be a person who forgives more (vs. 14)
4. be someone who fasts (vs.16)
5. be a person who invests more in people (vs. 21) ie...know where I am going, who do I want to take with me?
6. be a person who worries less (vs. 27) He knows what I need (vs. 32)

He commands me to:  (Chapter 7)
7. be a person who does not judge or who judges less (a year of humility) (vs.3)
8. be a person who knows my needs, to seek, ask, search out (vs. 7)
9. be a person who pursues the truth, Know His will (vs. 21)
10. be a person who builds better - let His word change my life, change my choices. (vs. 24)

Like I said at the beginning of this post, life has so many twists and turns....I was sitting here feeling pretty confused this morning, if that is even the word to describe how I was feeling.  I opened up Matthew 6 again, just to do a little reading of my own, and my eyes fell on vs. 25, "do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"

Oh Lord, let it be so, that I worry less.....I have all the usual things going on in my life, adult "children" that are busily building their lives and as I watch and listen, I worry...no, I shouldn't, but I do.  I have my own life that is full of all kinds of stuff...working, being a wife, supporting who I can at the moment I can, but who am I kidding, I spend lots of time feeling as though I just don't even know what in the world I am doing! And then this last week my dad took a turn for the worst and now, well, my heart is full of all kinds of emotions and all kinds of questions and uncertainties and hopes and plans and what ifs and why fors and all kinds of things like that.  Before I sat down to read my bible this morning and attempt to sort out my emotions, which I couldn't (I think I need to stand in the shower a long time to do that!) I felt this sense of, "Oh my gosh Lord, we are literally bleeding money...we have to go to Nebraska some time soon, we will be making our trip to Florida soon, and through all of that I am not working!"  Yep, the money fear hit me big time!  I sat here and got all twisted up wondering how in the world we were gonna do all the things that have to be done, that need to be done and that we WANT to do (Matts wedding is in that category)?  Lets be real here, how many of go through those thoughts almost every day?  I know I do.  Part of me doesn't want to face the next weeks, (yes, I know I am avoiding the dad topic at the moment, I have a later blog for him and just wait, I have something Matty wrote to share with you all) and part of me wants to go on a trip with my sisters and their hubbies, even though paying for it is going to have to be a miracle of the Lords provision!  Part of me isn't even close to ready to go to unknown territory and deal with the death of someone I love so so deeply and part of me knows that he is ready to go be with Jesus.  So you see, I am sort of conflicted today!

The Lord is encouraging us to a daily letting go.  The words of Matthew ring so true in my heart right now.  Why worry about what I will eat or drink or wear?  It won't do me any good and won't add any quality to my life.  The compulsion is to worry, the command is to let it go, to trust my needs to a God who totally knows my needs, but the command isn't only to let it go but to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all the things he promises in that passage, will come to pass.  So, today, I am setting my face toward a God who knows exactly what is going on in my life and knows just what I need to make it through and I am setting my heart toward letting go of the anxiety, the fear, the worry and letting Him soothe it all and show me how to rest in His arms, in His all sufficiency, in His promises of provision, in His love, in His redemption and deliverance and in His place of peace.  I know my quality of life will totally be affected as I wait upon Him.  I have some choices to make and a few chances I need to take in this day, (he also warns not to worry about tomorrow....hmmmmmmm) so for now, I am choosing to obey, to listen and to move and flow in Him, then and only then will I have all that I need to make it through.  Is it going to be easy?  Heck no! Even making the choice to make the choice is HARD, and the things that we have to do in the next few months won't be easy either (some of it will be so extremely fun though) but, its part of living and part of what being on this earth is all about.