Words

I am rediscovering the power of words! I am sitting here, listening to John and Aaron play a computer game together, yelling back and forth to each other, laughing, joking, exclaiming. The exchange denotes the relationship they share, one of intense competition, humor, and fun. It is great to hear and I enjoy listening to them relate.

So, the power of words? Words from my youth, like "cool" "neat" "wicked" "sweet" and the like, have been replaced. The other day, Aaron pulled a new pair of shoes from the box they'd arrived in, and called them "sick"... as I looked at him with alarm in my eyes, he quickly reassured me that sick was good...oh, Okay, I get it, NOT! It is always a challenge to understand others and their little isms isn't it? Words...with them we can encourage, build up, make someone believe in themselves. With them we can damage a fragile sense of self, give someone a false identity, or tear down. We can twist things around to our way of thinking, making our words our weapon.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about words, as I said, discovering anew, their power. I have been the recipient of decietful, wrongful, mean words, and I have been the deliverer of those same kinds of words. As I think about me and how I say what I say, I see things a little bit differently now, as I grow older, learn about why I do what I don't want to do, I realize that I often strike before struck, kind of like a rattle snake. I don't always say what I am thinking, but thinking it is just as ugly. Where does this come from? I have lots of answers to that, but the thing is, lately, the Lord has put me in a position of saying uncomplimentary things in a room while I am alone. okay, I know that sounds really weird, but I thought someone was listening, after all, they HAD been there, and I turn around and no one is there, they are busy elsewhere. So, I stand there, with my words hanging in the room, just me and them. I have stood there, thought about what I had just said and realized that it was about as ungodly as it comes. I thank the Lord that no one heard me except Him, but then I grieve because He did hear me and it wasn't pretty.

The beauty of it? He has gently spoken to my heart and let me see the ugliness of what I was thinking, saying, and then showed me what He thought about that person. I couldn't have done that had I not been alone, to hear the echoes of my words in the room. It has given me pause on more than one occasion since. I am suddenly more cautious, more careful when I say something, trying to be kinder and see them as a creation of Gods.

So as I listen to the words coming from our home it is a fine example (at the moment) of joy, closeness, fun. Of a relationship born of similar personalities, caring hearts. And I am glad, for tonight anyway, things are well.