So you think.......

I am not sure why I haven't been blogging much these days, try, ever, but I have been doing so many other things that it just hasn't fit into the scheme of my life!

I have been doing a bible study on the Battlefield of the Mind. A big subject for me!  Lately, I'd say in the last 6 months, I have begun to be increasingly aware that my thoughts have been just crazy.  Yes, I'm almost 50 but thats not it.  I would find myself having conversations with people that I haven't even SEEN in years, replaying scenarios and situations over in my mind. So, once my attention was finally focused on the strangeness of that, I began to ask the Lord, "WHAT IS THAT????"  I have always had a creative mind, maybe I should have tried for the theater or something and I have always been wildly vocal and word minded so part of it has always been an outlet for all of the thoughts that stream through my head, but, it began to really bother me so I knew that the Lord was working in my heart to tell me something important and I needed to pay attention.  Not long ago I was listening to Joyce Meyer teach on the mind and as she taught I thought, Holy cow, this is what happens in my mind! I really listened, took notes and began to ask the Lord what He wanted me to do with the information I was getting from her.

One thing really stuck out to me:  "Think about what you are thinking about"......What a concept huh?  Seriously! When I started to do that, I was shocked! I realized, first of all, that lots and lots, VOLUMES of stuff floated through my head without filter, without concern....I couldn't even believe what sort of trivial nonsense that I spent time thinking about and how much time it took.  Not only that, but how much I wasn't tuning in to the world around me because I was so absorbed in my own mind.  It began this process of really asking the Lord to help me with my thoughts, help me with what I was saying to myself, saying to others, in my mind and to stop the endless processing of things that were meaningless and even, at times, sinful and give myself room to enjoy and be IN the moment with those around me.  Often our kids will tell me something important only to have me not even remember that they told me! Seriously, I would look at them, nod and agree and then totally not know what in the world they were talking about when it came time for whatever it was they were doing.  I have even called them, upset at them because I did not know what they were doing, only to find out that they told me.  I was way too distracted and not listening because I was in my own little world...not good.

I began to realize that  those little nagging thoughts, those suspicions, doubts, fears, worries, reasonings, arguments and theories were all designed to steal from me.  To take my peace, to take my joy, to steal the life from me that the Lord intended for me to have! As I have grown this past year in my confidence, my "self" image (really, it has been my image as seen by God) I have begun to understand more and more the lies that I have believed over the years of my life about myself and how they held sway over every decision and often ruled what came out of my mouth and how I behaved.  Think about it.  You believe in your heart that you are unworthy of love, going to be abandoned, no one can be trusted, things will get bad again...whatever, and your every response is out of those fears, heck, you even begin to somehow cause arguments or rifts between you and another person as a result of what you are thinking about!!!!!!!!!!!  Pretty amazing revelation, at least it was and has been for me.  Proverbs 23:7 says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he!"  hmmmmm......and Romans 8:5 &6 says, "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh but those who live according to the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death but to be spiritually minded is life and peace."

All of that got me to thinking...What DO I think about?  What DO I put into my mind and allow to float around in there and what is it that I WANT in there?  More and more, MORE AND MORE, I want only Jesus in there, only the Lord and His Spirit to dwell in me.  When I think, I want to be responsible.  When I THINK...THINK...THINK...(to quote Winnie the Pooh) I want it to be things that glorify God, things that bring life and peace to my soul, mind and spirit. I don't want my mind focusing on things that bring only death, destruction, and lack of peace.   When you begin to think about what you are thinking about and noticing what your thoughts are, about yourself and others, it will blow your mind! At least I think it will....it did mine anyway. :)  I am grateful to have known the Lord a long time. I am grateful that He is teaching me that life and death are in the tongue and that as I think, speak and act, I can invoke life or death into a situation.  As I approach the throne of grace in prayer, I want to be asking God for help, I want to seek Him, to know Him more and to be more like Him.  I want to be someone who hears His voice (not the crazy ramblings of my own thoughts) and then acts on that voice, As I do that, as I ask for His help with my thoughts, my mind, I can be renewed, I can be victorious, I can be whole, healthy, happy, and joyful. I can love and be loved more fully, I can rest, I can sleep, I can do things I didn't think I could ever do because I am believing the truth of God's word and not the things that go through my head at any given time. (I kid you not, my mind is a constant CONSTANT movie screen).......

One side benefit from all of this has been that I am sleeping now! For years I have made a negative confession about sleep. I have talked about it to anyone and everyone who would listen that I could not sleep, I was not a sleeper, and so on and so on.....A few months ago the Lord, I believe, began to whisper into my heart that I  no longer needed to rely on sleep aids to sleep. I needed to begin to understand that I am created to sleep, I am created to rest, my mind was created for peace and my body was made to sleep at the allotted time and dream at the allotted time.  It took me a few months to accept it but each time I took an ambien I thought to myself, I am not making a positive confession here, I am admitting defeat.  I had no clue as to how to rule over my own thoughts (when I went to bed my mind would race) and no idea how to conquer the problem.  As I began to study Joyce's book, Battlefield of the Mind recently and then ran out of ambien right before we went on a little vacation, I was forced to deal with my thoughts, then words, then actions, on the whole issue.  I have to admit I had a little bit of fear in going on vacation with no ASSURANCE of sleep! Crazy huh?  I began to, in the days before we left and my script wasn't getting filled, I began to make positive confession about my sleep, speaking what isn't as though it is.  I began to speak scripture over my sleep, that God created me for peace, joy and rest. The body was made by God and He can make my sleep sweet...and so on and so on.   I have begun to see HUGE inroads into my sleep patterns!!! Seriously!!!!  I am working at making sure I am being responsible to have some peace and quiet before turning out the lights, drinking a cup of unsweetened chamomile tea and reading the word or praying with my hubby.  It has been wonderful and each new victory, each time I sleep well, I celebrate and thank God for it and each time I don't sleep so well, I thank the Lord anyway for what He can teach me through the adversity.  I am learning to lay in bed and make positive confession, to pray and to think about what I am thinking about and refusing to let my mind race and refusing to give in to fear and despair when I don't sleep well.  What a VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am relying on the Lord to bring me through this and am determined to trust Him for my rest, my sleep and take responsibility for the rest of what I can do before bed to make that happen and what I did before bed to make it NOT happen.   Awesome!!!!!!!!

So friends, think about what you are thinking about. Ask Him for help to show you your thoughts, to show you the things that you believe that are lies, the things that don't bring life to your soul, your mind, your body and let Him teach you that so you think, you are!!! What do you want to be?  I want to be joyful, loving, caring, kind, gentle, peaceful, faithful, trusting, open, and all things He wants me to be!  I pray you have a wonderful day and enjoy the peaceful thoughts that the Lord wants to bring to your mind......



Ephesians 6:12 says that:  We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly p