Lousy Bird!

I got the idea for this blog at 5:00 this morning! It was hard for me not to get up and start writing it right then and I might have except for the fact that I am NOT a morning person. Here I am, all cozy in bed, sound asleep and dreaming (well, I am sure I was, even if I don't remember what it might have been, plus for the sake of the story, I need to be dreaming don't I?) Okay, so I am sleeping away, probably dreaming and into my conciousness is forced this noxious and annoying sound. It grows increasingly loud and I am forced to full wakefulness, wondering WHAT in the heck is going on!!!!!!!!!! As I lay there, listening, I realize that it is a bird, an annoying, clucking, chewing something out bird!!! In fact, it sounds like the same bird that woke me up yesterday! I climb out of bed, making sure that John is now aware of the sound so as not to bother him with the noise outside our window, and without a lot of forethought, I just gently tap the blinds. If you know me at ALL, gently doing ANYTHING at 5:00 am is quite a feat for I have been known to drop an armload of pans while in search for the one pan that will hold the right amount of oatmeal for Johns breakfast, all the while, holding my eyes shut in refusal to admit I am actually awake. I climb back into bed, nudging back up to John and jokingly say, "okay, I shut the chihuahua up!" he chuckles and we begin to drift off again. But by this time I am mildly annoyed at this little animal and begin to write a blog about him in my head. This often happens to me since I am usually, at brain level anyway, going full speed until I lay down in bed at night. (I must admit, I am getting better at NOT doing this) As I lay there, trying not to formulate this very blog in my mind, I hear the faint sounds of barking once again, and sigh. By this time John is sleeping, breathing on my shoulder, so I don't want to disturb him. I lay there, listening, almost tuning in to the sound. I wonder why we do that? It is like singing the same song over and over again in your mind and you honestly aren't aware of having heard it at any point in the day, until suddenly you remember hearing it in the elevator or in the store as you shopped, you tuned in and weren't even aware of it. Anyway, I am actually listening to see what this bird will do, and it begins to come closer and closer until it honestly sounds as though it is literally barking, yes, I said barking like a small dog, an ankle biter type, into our window screen! HOLY COW!!!!!!!! It woke John up, it isn't 6 yet,,he is annoyed and I am downright irritated by now so I stand up, RIP up the blinds as fast as I can (oh I forgot, I tried to peek through them but it stopped yipping) and then let them fly down again! I hear nothing for a second so I lie down again. Whew, it is gone, no more weird sounds coming from the outside, not even from the pretty sounding birds that are out there. It is finally quiet and I snuggle back in...and just as I am about to fall soundly asleep...the alarm goes off.......

So now I sit outside in my garden sanctuary, the birds are singing, the neighbor is outside whistling, cars are driving past my house, Cola is wandering around the yard eating bees (she hates any buzzing critters) and the children of the kids next door are playing outside, it is so wonderful when the sun shines warm and the sky is the most beautiful shade of blue that God could have created! AHHHHHH....... relaxation and solitude.............. oh Lord, how wonderful are your ways, how beautiful is your creation.......... yip........ hmmm..... well........ yip....... that isn't the dog? nope....... yip........ Lord, I love you......... yip.......... oh my heavens, it is that bird again!!!!

How often do I allow the noise of life, the yipping, of this little bird, interrupt me and break into my thoughts and bring irritation? How many times do I expect something and get quite the opposite and then fume in my heart and mind until I am full out angry? How much of my time is spent listening to the barking bird in my mind and not the beautiful singing? Recently I was brought up short. John and I have undergone a revolutionary change in our marriage. It has been so radical that both of us feel, to some extent, that we are married anew and it has been really wonderful for the two of us. We have been learning how to see how we use our coping mechanisms, how they drive us apart when we employ them and how we can work through the things that trigger them. It has been amazing. Without realizing it, I set up a set of expectations for him and he for me. The cycle can become really damaging when you don't know you are doing it. For the better part of this week I have been trying to figure out why he didn't do something or other and he was doing the same with me, both feeling this sense of panic...ie. we were listening to the barking bird.....being annoyed, frustrated and setting the other up for failure. Finally, we both couldn't stand the distance between us that had begun and we talked, figuring out what the other was feeling and thinking and going from there. It is amazing how God uses something like that to open our ears to the beautiful music of the ones we love. I suddenly felt heard, felt cared for again and the irritation I had been feeling was gone. What did I do? I ripped up the blinds and scared away that annoying bird (nope, I didn't let them fall shut again, here the analogy does break down a bit huh?) haha!

I pray today that you will listen, really listen, to THE One who loves you above all others. As the weather warms, take time to relax, let the heat of the sun penetrate and just sit and hear, totall tuning in to what the Lord would say to you today. psst...it goes something like this.....

I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have adopted you into my family, you are my beloved child. I have made you heir to a kingdom, you will rule and reign with Me. I died so that you could live, and live with fulness that comes from only asking for it from Me and not only that I will accompany You to the ends of the earth and see My way established in you so that you will be complete In Me....

yep, it goes something like that. May His word go with you today and may you hear His voice speaking into your life, in a full, rich and powerful way.